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From Al (Buzz) Keck - your Duckhams Chair 😎:
If you thought sailing was all about perfect tacks and graceful gybes, think again! Fed Week 2025 at Hayling Island Sailing Club proved that Bowmoor not only races hard, but also knows how to turn a week of competition into a festival of controlled (and not-so-controlled) chaos. And yes, the Duckhams were awarded, honouring acts of sheer stupidity and brilliant incompetence across the week.
A huge thanks to David Fewings for the shiny new trophy and Lidl for allowing me to buy the clothing, ensuring winners could shine on the racecourse, in the boat park, and even on the dance floor.
Sunday – Setting the Standard for Chaos
Bowmoor came out swinging with Sam’s MOT mishap and Kieran’s car failure. Breakfast chaos was crowned by Will M🥇 who demanded first Mac breakfast and an artisanal sugar for his coffee. Meanwhile, Will H washed clothes without soap (a bold new technique), and Owen almost lost his boat thanks to a missing ratchet. Wavy booked the wrong campsite dates and Liney mistook shampoo for hair product. Truly a Sunday to remember.
Monday – Sandcastles & Splitting Hulls
The chaos escalated. Mike fell off a van (bucket broken), Jasper’s cutlery drying experiment raised eyebrows, and Will H🥇 spent race time building sandcastles, then carried his boat off the sandbank. Kieron fell out of the boat multiple times whilst leading and Matt & Will M split a hull trying to “steal” all the sea. And let’s not forget Charlie & Esther, who brilliantly threw a start away.
Tuesday – Vodka, Hose Water & Power Slides
Wavy’s “hot errection” moment and Will M phone theft set the tone. The day’s winner 🥇 was Will M, for expertly telling Sam F drinking water was cheating, Emptying his Water bottle full of vodka all over the boat park as they arrived for the party. Will H couldn’t find his bed, Zak attempted to drink from a hose with limited success, and Mrs Phil high-sided during a power slide in the boat park, requiring A&E attention. Sarah P clashed with a windward mark, and Jandy’s double tiller extension tested her steering skills.
Wednesday – Alarm Clocks & Flatulence
The week’s overall chaos champion, Kieron 🥇, set a new standard with his watch charging alarm schedule: 4:45, 6:00, 6:30… waking David, Toby, and Ellie in different tents. Owen contributed “one ripping fart too many, splitting his prized Shorts” Sam F’s MOT drama continued, and Andy Sharp executed a slam dunk on Dave’s brand new hat. Matt hit the curb cycling home, while Lizzie proved to be a very “useless guard dog.”
Thursday – Knock on All the Windows
The day saw Will M injuring himself on a wheelie and a thumb in a cigar cutter, Marnie’s banana split trick making Phil W retch and Wavy draining Rachel (we’ll leave that to the imagination). The day’s winner 🥇 was Jean Luc, who, unable to use a key, proceeded to knock on all the windows to get in - a performance that surely deserves a medal in ingenuity. Meanwhile, Davy’s kite window and Sarah P’s lack of care added to the Bowmoor flair for chaos.
Friday – Pop Tops & Hugging Heroes
The week concluded in style: Jonny B went from bouncer to hugger in 15 seconds, Phii W encouraged intimate smelling encounter with Tilly and the day’s winner 🥇 was Jooooooooooo White , who valiantly tried to shut the pop top roof - only to discover Tilly was still up there!! Andy M overachieved in laps, Liney wrestled with a battery, and Ellie crashed into the barrier with style (hopefully not permanently).
And the Overall Duckham Winner?
Drumroll please… 🥁 It goes to Kieron, for his Alarming Watch Charge, a performance of strategic sleep disruption that will echo in tents for years to come.
Fed Week 2025 reminded us all: Bowmoor doesn’t just race - they make memories, chaos and laughter the real winners of the week. See you all next year, ready to out-chaos the champions! |
